Welcome back to the final installment in our Communication Series! This Fall, we have been getting super specific about the different ways you communicate (or don’t communicate) in your relationship.
We’ve dissected the top 3 ways you could be sabotaging your relationship in those first few weeks or months. If you missed it, check it out here.
And a few weeks ago, we talked about the importance of understanding that the certain qualities we want in a partner will always come with two sides. I used my own marriage as an example for this one. Learn more here.
Today, I’m putting myself back in the hot seat when it comes to our final tip: effective communication for lasting happiness.
My husband and I have been married for over 13 years. We have two elementary school aged kids and three rescue dogs. We both work full-time and are passionate about our chosen careers. So needless to say, life is busy.
So how do we stay on the same page with each other?
The key is going back to something I mentioned in Part I about utilizing your Relationship Google Translator.
If you’ve been reading our series this Fall, then you’ve come to understand that we all communicate in a different way. Exhausting yourself trying to get your date, partner, or spouse to communicate the same as you will never strengthen your relationship.
What will strengthen your relationship is getting a master’s degree in your partner.
Here’s what I mean…
Often your partner may be triggered by the history you represent. For example, I grew up in a loud household in New York City. My parents, brother, and I basically used yelling as a regular old conversation tone.
But for my husband, yelling is serious business. In his midwestern childhood, raising your voice was reserved for danger or when you were in trouble.
So we have both had to learn to speak up when the other is not communicating in a way we can really relate to or understand. Because we’ve taken time to discuss our childhoods, personality traits, etc. we are able to better able to negotiate and get things done together – and not take it personally if I yell out to give me 5 minutes because I’m brushing my teeth.
This kind of transparency keeps us on the same team. It keeps us proactive and lessens our recovery time when we do get upset with each other.
So I ask you to think about this: How can you dig into your partner’s story a bit more? Where can you bring out your Google Translator? When can you listen more efficiently to your partner?
Remember that in order to stay connected, you have to stay curious about each other.
We hope you’ve enjoyed The Communication Series. What are your relationship, dating, or sex questions? Sound off in the comments below.