We are living in a world with lots of choices. Take your Starbucks order, for example. I’m betting that it’s detailed. Whether it’s extra foam, one pump, decaf, half-caff, all the caff – you name it – you want it how you want it.
But when it comes to dating, we can often be so blinded by the plethora of choices, we often end up not choosing.
And with so many dating apps and swiping options, you are plain overwhelmed by the choices.
Not to mention that sometimes what we want in a partner can be even more specific than our coffee order, so much so it seems like that person just doesn’t exist.
So how do you do this dating thing in today’s “endless choice” world?
(And stay excited about?!)
Narrow The Gap
If you are feeling burnt out on the dating apps, you are not alone. We’ve seen a rise in people who come into our office ready for customized, real person help because they are literally “sick of swiping.”
The mentality is you think you are getting a lot of exposure on the apps so your chances of finding love are really great. But the success rate has been low for you. So you sit around and wonder, “Is it me? It must be me. Maybe it’s my profile? My pics?” And you feel a bit more hopeless about finding and keeping love.
But here’s the real deal: there’s no support, screening, or real understanding of who you are on the apps. That’s why one of the major things we focus on is helping you narrow the gap. This is because we take the time to understand who you are, what you’re looking for, and help you make sense of it all.
We also help make sense of who is right for you for the long-term; the person who is going to be good to you, as opposed to just going after that instant attraction.
This is why we have a high success rate because we are able to screen for you based on your values, personality, and goals. Plus, we are there to support you every step of the way and offer that tough love when you need it.
Now, the tough love is key because often people think they know exactly what they want. They have a list and that’s it. And they will often reject people if they don’t match to the list. But what we’ve noticed is that many times singles are limiting their options because they are holding on to things that don’t matter.
Your Must-Have List
Yes, you want a person that treats you with respect. Someone is kind, smart, and can tell a great joke or two. And you should definitely have a list of things that matter to you.
When someone first comes into our office, we ask all kinds of questions about who you are looking for – your likes, dislikes, bottom lines, deal breakers, etc.
But you can’t expect a robot-human who checks all your boxes and unattainable ideas.
The person must have this [insert specific career].
The person must be from [insert city on the East Coast].
Ruling out brunettes vs. blondes.
Ruling out Red Sox vs. Yankees fans. (Well, maybe you can?) 😉
Trust me – we’ve heard it all. And what I can tell you is when a person steps away from even a small part of their Starbucks order boyfriend/girlfriend, they are often surprised by what happens next. Because what usually follows is they find the person who is imperfectly perfect for them.
(And it happens faster than they think!)
Even better? They find out a whole lot about themselves in the process.
So here’s our bottom line: Absolutely know the qualities you want in a person but be open to the package it comes in.
Need help on your dating journey? We can help you make 2018 your best dating year yet. Check out our services for men and women to figure out how we can best help you.