Now immediately when you see the title of this article, it might sound as if I am about to tell all the ladies to wear a dress and heels, and the guys to be in their Sunday best – hair coiffed and all the perfume and cologne galore. And well, you would basically be correct. (Well, I’m not going to tell you exactly what to wear but you’ll see what I mean.)
The thing is I am on a quest to help singles understand the importance (and game changing experience) of embodying that old New York/Hollywood glamour. It’s all but lost in our modern day hustle & bustle and our everyday commutes. So it’s time to bring it back.
I’ve broken it down into 3 reasons with the help of my team to show how a simple wardrobe change can bring the fireworks to your next date.
#1 Honor The Invitation
“Chances are, if you are going to church or a Broadway show, you are going to dress-up,” says Ashley, our Director of Recruiting. “You just wouldn’t show-up in yoga pants or the last pair of jeans in your drawer. There is a sense of honoring that invitation – respecting the service or the performers and all their hard work. So why shouldn’t the same go for dating?”
The problem is, as Ashley points out, is with our “swipe right” culture. You can easily have 3 or 4 dates a week and so no first date feels really sacred anymore. Nothing feels that special.
“I know when I was dating, I was in app mode – I didn’t always take it seriously,” Ashley shares. “I was like, ok – here’s my Tuesday date without that much excitement because it’s so easy to get burned or simply go through the motions and so you just show up in whatever the day has brought you, without that much thought. You just don’t think this convo over drinks will really go anywhere.”
But since working in the matchmaking industry here in New York City, Ashley has learned that when you look your best, you instantly feel more confident. It’s easier (and more fun!) to flirt and be engaged in the conversation because you know you’ve put time and effort into the night – even that simply means throwing your favorite heels on with a pair of jeans or swiping on a bold lip before walking into the restaurant. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, you know you’ve put your best self forward.
“I don’t want any missed opportunities for our clients or members,” Ashley says. And also, you truly never know. Those Tuesday drinks could turn into Friday dinner and next Wednesday movie – and beyond. So be like Ashley: show up and honor the invitation.
#2 Date Consciously
“One of the benefits of being a matchmaker is that it helps you become a better ‘dater’,” Rachel, our Director of Matchmaking shares. “Like Ashley said, this ‘swipe right’ culture can really mess you up, but what I have learned is that when you get crystal clear on who you are and what you’re looking for – you begin to date more consciously.”
And with that, comes more hope on each date because you are going out with people who are right for you as opposed to continuing to make the same mistakes over and over again.
“I know how to screen for myself now! I actually think it’s the top reason why everyone should work with a matchmaker because it makes you excited to go on dates again, so of course I want to look my best – this person could be The One!”
One of the things Rachel points out is that instant attraction is most often physical. We’ve all felt that butterfly feeling when your date walks into the room. All of those feelings are enhanced when we see them looking like a knock-out.
“We remember the great jacket he wore, or the fun earrings she had on, or his cologne, etc.” Rachel says. “It all adds to the ambiance of your date and facilitates connection more easily.”
So also be like Rachel and enlist the trusted guidance (and wisdom!) of a matchmaker or date coach to help you really dig deep into what you’re looking for. You’ll begin to date more consciously and maybe find that love of your life in less time than you thought!
#3 The Art of Getting Ready
Ok, we can’t take full credit for this one as we did get some help from the September issue of Cosmopolitan. Our writer, Marisa, is an avid monthly reader. In the Love section of the September issue, there is this great tip called “Luxuriate In The Prep.”
“It stopped me dead in my tracks because it’s exactly what we have been talking about!” Marisa says.
Cosmo writes, “You may not realize it, but the rituals of getting dressed up or putting on makeup even…getting date-ready is a nurturing process for you, and the mere act of putting on heels or changing your hairstyle puts you in the mood to seduce and attract.”
There’s a physical shift you feel in your body when you put on music and get ready for a night out. Your mindset immediately shifts to a more fun and hopeful place.
“And that’s the place – the mindset – you want to show up with on the date, ya know?” Marisa says. “I don’t want any distractions or worries in my head about how I look when I’m trying to get to know someone or learn about them. Looking my best always – in any situation – helps me feel, not only, more confident, but present. I actually feel in the moment.”
So be like Marisa and use the art of getting ready to help you embrace a confident and positive mindset for your night out.
Are you excited for your next date? Already thinking about your favorite outfit you might break out from the closet? Or perhaps you’re wondering what’s your best choice for a particular venue? Sound off in the comments below. And remember, if you want to find your perfect match – we can help!
In fact, finding New Yorkers real love is kind of our thing. With over 20 + years in the business, our unique system – part social work, part specific matchmaking methodology – focuses on compatibility and chemistry (so you don’t have to) while helping you you make better, more authentic choices. All you have to do is show up – preferably in your favorite outfit.
Learn more about how we work (and what makes us different from the rest) here.