It turns out ghosting is not just for Halloween. We’ve seen a lot of ghosts in our time, especially when it comes to dating.
Have you ever been on a date with someone and then you never hear from them again? You’ve been ghosted. Or maybe you’ve been the one to suddenly stop communication with someone you’ve gone out with a few times? Well, then that would make you the ghost.
Most people assume that by ghosting the other person will just magically assume the person isn’t interested in them anymore. But like with any magic pill, there are some serious side effects.
You may even believe that ghosting is ultimately the better choice because you aren’t risking hurting someone’s feelings by telling them that you aren’t interested anymore. This means that even the best people out there ghost because there really hasn’t been a dating “dos and don’ts” as technology has advanced.
So let’s find out if it’s ever ok to ghost…
Boo To You
We honestly believe that if you are reading this, you are an adult looking for lasting love. A real, loving relationship based on honesty. That also means along the way to finding that person, you should probably establish those qualities for yourself.
What does that mean?
It means you should always let someone know that you’re not interested. Doesn’t have to be a long conversation. Just a simple way of letting them know. Because honestly, if you don’t, it’s just not polite. It’s a big old boo to you and ultimately doesn’t make anyone feel good about this dating world.
The only exception is after one date. If after one date you aren’t that interested and haven’t made concrete plans to see each other again – and don’t receive any communication from the other person – then it’s ok to let it go.
If you do hear from the person after that first date, you should send a text back – thank them for the first date but let them know you aren’t interested in a second date.But anything beyond that (and up to three dates) you should send them a text and let them know.
Now, what about after three dates and/or once intimacy has been involved? See your phone? Use it. The old-fashioned way. Call the person and let them know. If you choose text at this point, there can be a lot of misinterpretation.
Clarity Is Key
Miscommunication and lack of communication are where all the problems come from in relationships and dating. Therefore, here’s what you can do to make the love world a better place…
Establish clear communication even if it’s uncomfortable. Because you never know when it could come back to you.
Your path may cross with that person again, either personally, romantically, or professionally. That’s why it’s always better to simply wish someone well as opposed to ignoring or deciding to ghost.
This year, let’s leave the ghosting to Halloween and the dead. And let’s decide to bring some simple civility back to this journey to finding the person that’s right for you. Along the way, be kind.
Have some other dating and relationship questions you’ve been wondering about? Leave a comment below and we will answer it. Also, check us out every Thursday – live on Facebook – for ThursDATE. We are talking love, sex, and dating every single week. Come join us!